The rock'n'roll world has been follically-obsessed for as long as we can remember. This much we know. Also, there are times when it's been obvious to see why cool haircuts have been essential to success (see The Beatles, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix) while those landed with disastrous barnets (A Flock Of Seagulls, The Rezillos' Eugene Reynolds) have fallen at the first hurdle. Quite where this reasoning leaves the jury on Phil Oakey is mystifying, but not something we're going to dwell on here.
However, for all our obsessions with the way we look in the mirror today, the rock'n'roll world has previously been light on bands concerned with the state of our hair once we've slipped off the perch. Oh come on: don't tell me you've never spent time considering folicamortis? You haven't? Geddoutahere! Whaddya mean you've never heard of it?
Well, delicate reader, folicamortis is the correct medical term for hair growth after death, and with "Who Will Cut Our Hair When We've Gone?" Montreal's THE UNICORNS are (to the best of this queasy reviewer's knowledge) the first rock outfit of any note to tackle this important issue. So there.
Actually, if you're already confused by this bizarre line of creative attack, then wait until you hear the album. The Unicorns' three protagonists Nick "Niel" Diamond, Alden Ginger and drummer J'aime Tambour are clearly schizophrenic (in a good way), have an attention span of about 20 seconds per idea and knock out some of the strangest pop music you'll have heard this side of "Trout Mask Replica."
Which is invariably a good thing. Large chunks of "Who Will Cut Our Hair..." are at the very least intriguing and most of the tunes reveal that, for all the mad tempos and unlikely textural colourings (tin whistles, bells, exchoplexes and toy pianos anyone?), they're big pop fans underneath it all. That they aren't afraid to let a cool tune in through the back door as well is a serious boon.
Tunes like the opening "I Don't Wanna Die" and the looned-out "Jellybones" are good examples of this philosophy. The former takes off with chiming, Beach Boys-style keyboards and revels in a counterpoint looming atmosphere with obscene phone call-style vocals, while "Jellybones" is clandestine, organ-led pop with unexpected shots of funky guitar and disco drumming. "Tuff Ghost," meanwhile, is arguably even better. This time it employs spooky, buzzy Moog and hi-hat heavy percussion and comes over like The Flaming Lips riding a ghost train.
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On other occasions, The Unicorns merge Irish tin whistle melodies with surging guitar pop ("Sea Ghost") like it was the only obvious course of action or decide to make like Brian Wilson fronting The Residents like they do on "Let's Get Known." They counterbalance this with the stomping excitement of "I Was Born (A Unicorn)" - careering'n'wild and catchy'n'economic in equal doses - and "Les O.S", which is about as anthemic and consistent as The Unicorns get. Though everything's relative, obviously.
Admittedly, bits of it don't work so well. "Child Star", for instance, has a Luke Haines-style title, but veers from warped, lo-fi drama to cut-price, skiffly stomp. In a word, you could describe it as 'quixotic', but in two you could just as easily call it 'totally confused'. "The Clap", too, is an unlikely, scurrying thing which then decides to make a garage rock surge for the tape. It's dashed-off and would have been better remaining on the studio floor. Then there's a tune like "Inoculate Innocuous", which crams in everything good AND bad about The Unicorns. In three minutes, you get the spiky guitar figure, a lapse of attention, several degrees of farting about and then a moving end coda where the whistles, guitars and keyboards combine in a sublime pincer movement. Idiosyncratic as hell: that's The Unicorns.
"Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone?", then, is the sound of a creative brainstorm and a bloody strange blueprint to lay down for a 'career'. The Unicorns are as flighty and unlikely as their mythical namesakes and their curious approach to pop ensures we're showered in both magic and madness here. You'll need a crystal ball to work out what the next one will sound like.
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