‘I write in Arabic, but probably speak better English slang / I’ve read the Koran but also I like to read Kerrang.’ So begins ‘Don’t Panic,’ in a half-sung, half-spoken Savvern accent over a simple guitar riff. Yes, it addresses social issues in a quirky, comedic way, but, well, big deal. It might work well as part of a comedy set (although is more likely to be appreciated by fans of the likes of Jasper Carrott and Mike Harding than anyone who like their comedy to be funny). So it is that the chorus features one of the most obvious and unfunny couplets I’ve heard in a while, ‘Don’t panic, I’m only Islamic.’
The mirth never starts with flipside, ‘Who broke Susan Boyle?’ it may be ‘topical’ and Tom Robinson may have declared it to be ‘genius’ on his 6Music show, but as is the case with so many novelty / comedy numbers, after hearing it once, the element of surprise has gone and there’s little point in hearing it again. What’s more, topical is only topical for a finite and often brief time.
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Ultimately, it might be fun and all (even if it’s not my idea if fun), but I simply can’t see the need for it as a single release.
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