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... LARY WHITE is a California musician and composer who has a great CV and a very tedious CD. The CV is so spectacular that it looks as though his creative spark lies more in that special literary genre than in the soft jazz/lift music that he offers to the world. "Larry has also conducted almost every major symphony orchestra throughout the United States and Canada" it says in the blurb. There is more. But, strangely, an hour's research turned up no substantial corroboration.
Not that Larry needs the aggrandisement. His music is so proficiently dull that there must be malls, airports, hotels and telephone answering services worldwide who would be happy to pay for this kind of aural camouflage. It's just the thing for reducing client anxiety in an environment that would otherwise be full of unexplained clicks, hisses, silences and stifled moans and guffaws. It's loosely based on a kind of small band sophistication from the fifties and early sixties that you might associate with words like cocktail, tuxedo, maitre d' or schmaltz. But not in a good way.
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... Global Shite Enterprises values your custom ... please hold while a customer service representative finishes his three minute sanity maintenance entitlement … thank you for holding ...
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