It happens, of course. Picture the scene: the businessman is booked into a comfortable hotel for the weekend. He's bored after attending a couple of intensive days at the conference and fancies some r'n'r. He comes back up to his room after the afternoon seminar has wound down and there's a note slipped under the door. "Call this number for a massage" it says. He's tempted. He's away from home, the wife'll never know....why the hell not?
He calls the number. A little later she arrives. He likes the look of her, she's keen to please him. She gets his clothes off, mixes him a drink and tells him to relax. She gets to work."You're tense, dear" he hears her say as he slugs his drink, closes his eyes, feels her fingers at work on his back.....aah......
The next thing he knows is when he awakes. There's daylight pouring through the blinds and he's got a crippling head. There's no sign of the lovely creature who was there last night and as he stumbles around the room he discovers his wallet has disappeared, and his credit cards. Shit, how will he explain this away? Not to mention the embarrassment of the whole thing...
So yeah, such tales of Machievellian madames have always been around, it seems, but in CHARLOTTE HATHERLEY'S fantastic new single "Bastardo", the boot is on the other foot, as Charlotte (or rather, the song's progatonist) is cleaned out by the Latin American "two-faced lothario". Her money would be bad enough, but curiously he leaves this behind ("In the morning I awoke, there was no Antonio, just some money that he'd left for the memory of me") and instead half-inches the poor lass's favourite Gibson guitar. The dissolute bounder!
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Anyway, suffice it to say the tune itself is an immediate, fizzy pop raunch of the highest order with nods to early Pretenders. Fitting really, as - at least where her singles are concerned - Ms.Hatherley is the best young indie Chrissie Hynde we've had for years. She keeps up the pressure with the two B-sides as well: "3 Minutes" is a driving, strident, hipshakin' thang with weirdo blasts of Blurt-style sax and "bop bop sha na na" backing vocals that are catchier than a docker's hook, while "I Am A Kamera" is stompy and predatory and blossoms into cool, euphoric rock'n'roll. Pretty neat for the third track on a single these days.
Charlotte herself jokingly suggested to this writer that she'd love Antonio Banderas to play the Spanish Terry-Thomas if ever she made a video for this song, and as a bonus there now IS a cool video for the single. They didn't net Banderas, but David "Little Britain" Walliams is good as the villain and it's been directed by Edgar Wright, previously responsible for "Shaun Of The Dead". A cool way to put the lid on up what amounts to a throroughly cool package all round. Charlotte's main band will have to watch their back if she can keep this up.
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