In case any of you out there in music land were in any doubt that we live in a world of continuous commercial contrivance and connivance I have the GLITTZI GIRLZ CD as Exhibit A for the prosecution. If you are over the age of 12 be partially appeased as the GLITZZI GIRLZ have no interest in your dosh. No, it’s the money of the “tweenies” in your life, that pre-teen demographic of 6-12 year old (predominantly) girls who globally are worth millions, if not billions, to insinuating companies falling over themselves to gate-crash their lives with tacky promises and gestures of false friendship, slyly tempting them to part with their easy unearned cash for the hollow rewards of an imagined celebrity status.
We’ll dispense with the formality of the music on this CD as quickly as possible as its function in the world of GLITTZI GIRLZ is merely as a warm-up for the main act: that being to maximise the sale of as much GLITZZI GIRLZ merchandise as possible. The song is a cover version of the Ronettes classic ‘Be My Baby’. And to be fair it's a decent version, all boppy and poppy and perfectly nice.
But its presence is merely window dressing for the true modus operandi of the GLITZZI GIRLZ.
They started life in 2003 as part of the “Glitzzi Girlz Pop Star Kits and Karaoke DVD Collections”. The GLITZZI GIRLZ are Belle, KC and Mai and they were animated characters designed to help “Britain’s children” to sing along to their favourite songs. Parents have no doubt been delighted to learn that in addition they can purchase i) a Glitzzi Girlz Vocal Trainer; ii) a Video Karoake Machine and iii) an On-Tour Bag. We’re told that these items were “recent additions” which probably means they were out in time for Christmas. Now the GLITTZI GIRLS have been made flesh as a ‘live’ trio and have already notched up this year a “3 week tour of primary schools and dance schools”. Which pretty much brings us up to date.
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Before anyone starts poo-pooing me for taking this all far too seriously and for not accepting the GLITZZI GIRLZ as just a bit of ‘harmless fun’ then congratulations on brain-washing yourself into the kind of self-deluded response that the PR people who promote GLITZZI GIRLZ no doubt use to dismiss criticisms of their invasive tactics.
Besides, I used to play air guitar in front of the mirror and sing loudly in my bedroom – still do in fact if the truth be known - but the pleasure came from the fact that it was a guilty secret, not something pre-packaged and mass-marketed for me into a retail experience.
Where’s the fun in that?
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