I hate to be entirely negative about a band because, let’s face it, I, and most of you, have neither the courage nor the talent to take to the stage. In the case of THE YARDS, however, I’m afraid I’m going to be cruel and probably unkind.
Judging by tonight’s performance (and I admit they had entirely passed me by prior to this) The Yards are a truly gruesome, utterly pointless band. Sure, they are more than competent musicians, and ex-Seahorse Chris Helme has a voice that possesses a certain gruff charm, but their songs are so….nothing.
Despite this, The Yards appear to be labouring under the delusion that they are the new saviours of rock and roll. They spout so many tired musical clichés and lyrical platitudes that their performance moves rapidly beyond Spinal Tap hilarity into the realms of sheer, unfunny embarrassment . Helme doesn’t help matters with his frankly unpleasant manner throughout. His audience interaction consists of surly sarcasm at best, outright nastiness at worst, with particular vitriol directed towards his soundman, who he insisted on name-checking only to humiliate.
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Don’t get me wrong – I’m not looking for Coldplay-esque touchy feeliness. In fact many of my favourite bands don’t acknowledge the audience at all. Perhaps this is an approach Helme could consider, at least until he gets the massive chip removed from his shoulder.
I always found The Seahorses a ridiculous band: their pub rock sludge, trite lyrics and self-important pompous delivery were beyond parody. Unfortunately it appears that, having taken the reigns of his own rock beast, Chris Helme is happily repeating history. More unfortunate for him, there are no washed-up indie guitar heroes around to encourage anyone to pay attention.
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